


Dear B [Benji] ,

by malecnificenttyrus11



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: 1x10 scene, Benji finds the letter and reads it, Conflicted!Benji, Dear B, Victor's Letter, filler scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24930274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecnificenttyrus11/pseuds/malecnificenttyrus11
Summary: When Benji finds a letter planted in his locker, he is extremely confused. Knowing that there's no way that his boyfriend wrote the letter, he finds himself anxious to know who did. Once he gets home from school, he finally reads it. How will Benji react to Victor's unexpected letter?
Relationships: Victor Salazar/Benji Campbell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 161





	Dear B [Benji] ,

When the last bell of the day rings, Benji quickly collects his books and heads in the direction of his locker.

He was relieved...he managed to get through the entire day at school without running into Victor.

Victor...who he couldn't get out of his head.

He did see Victor with his girlfriend in the hallway, and for some reason...it bothered him. It was probably because Victor had kissed him knowing that they both had significant others.

That was it...right?

Right.

Benji sighs, walking up to his locker and entering his combination, pulling it open. A piece of paper flies out of his locker, gently falling to the floor.

Benji raises an eyebrow, bending down to pick it up. He holds it in between his fingers, taking note of the single letter 'B' written on the front.

Someone wrote him a letter? Who even wrote letters anymore?

Honestly, Benji found the gesture to be extremely romantic (he was kind of a sucker for old-fashioned gestures).

Maybe Derek had written him a letter to try and be more receptive to his romantic preferences? Maybe he'd written it to make up for ruining their one-year anniversary?

Who was he kidding...there's no way in hell that Derek would do anything like this for him. If he were here right now, he would be making fun of the gesture...saying how cheesy and 'heterosexual' it was.

Derek even argued with him over going to the dance tonight, saying that he was far too mature to be at a high school dance.

Since there was no way this letter was written by his boyfriend, he found himself growing even more confused.

Benji glances around the hallway to see if anyone is watching him. When he finds that nobody is looking in his direction, he closes his locker, quickly walking towards the school exit.  
~  
When Benji gets home, he tosses his backpack on the floor, falling back onto his bed.

He spins the paper around in his hands, trying to gain the courage to open it.

He takes a deep breath, slowly unfolding the letter.

" _B,_

_First of all, I am so sorry for kissing you. But...please, just...hear me out."_

Benji feels his heart sink in his chest.

The letter is from Victor.

He debates folding the letter back up and tossing it away, but then he remembers how crushed Victor looked when Benji pushed him away.

He owes it to Victor to atleast read what he has to say, especially since Victor went through the effort of writing him this letter.

Nobody had ever put this much effort into anything for him before.

He sighs, continuing to read further into the letter.

_"I know that you must be confused about me kissing you, when I have a girlfriend."_

Honestly, Benji never found himself questioning Victor's sexuality, or his and Mia's relationship. There was always something a bit off about it, but he never paid much attention to it.

Victor did seem to be really into her, so when he suddenly kissed Benji...Benji found himself extremely confused.

_"The truth is...I've been confused about who I was for awhile now. And being around you, helped me figure that out."_

Benji's eyes widen, reading the line over again to make sure he hadn't misread it.

Is Victor...gay?

Being around him helped Victor figure it out?

So...Victor has been in the closet this entire time?

A wave of guilt hits Benji.

He had been so angry, so...hurt, by Victor during his birthday party. The way that Victor was too afraid to stand up for him against his family.

He thought that they were friends, and that Victor was accepting of who Benji was.

He'd been so cold to him, when he didn't even know that Victor had actually endured his family's homophobic behaviors for so long.

_"But...I need you to know that I lied on the work trip. The machine was ready that day...but, I didn't tell you."_

Wait...what?

Victor...lied to him about having the stay the night?

_"I know that sounds really manipulative and shitty, but...being on that trip with you allowed for me to just...escape from reality, and escape from hiding who I was...atleast for one night."_

Benji's eyes widen, a million thoughts swirling around in his mind.

Honestly, he wasn't angry at Victor's lying to him. He'd been through the exact same things when he was still in the closet, so he understands Victor's wanting to escape from reality.

Benji didn't have someone who helped him through his journey, which is why he turned to drinking. Drinking was his escape, in the same way that he was Victor's.

_"And being with you just made me feel...free...It always does."_

Benji's heart starts racing in his chest.

Honestly, being with Victor made him feel free, too. It helped him to escape reality.

The reality that...his relationship was toxic and far from perfect.

Although he wouldn't admit it...him and Derek had been off for a long time, and he knew that Derek was not the right person for him. But...he found himself unable to let go, maybe because he was afraid.

He was even more afraid of losing Victor, though...the one person that made him feel okay with being himself.

_"I know there is no excuse for me kissing you, especially when you have a boyfriend. I want you to know that I never intended on putting you in a tough spot, or hurting your relationship."_

Benji can't help but feel guilty for projecting his anger and hurt towards Derek onto Victor.

Yes, Victor had kissed him, but...he kissed Victor back. He was just as much in the wrong as Victor was. And it wasn't fair of him to put all of that blame on Victor.

_"I know that you probably want to hear me say that it was just an impulsive decision and that the kiss meant nothing, and maybe for you it didnt, but...I can't say that, because I would be lying to both you and myself."_

The kiss definitely meant something to Benji, although he was too afraid to admit it.

He didn't want to admit it, but...Benji has had feelings for Victor since the first time they met. Something about how easy it was to talk to him...the way that Victor was unconditionally there for the people he cared about.

The way he put effort into everything he did...it made Benji instantly gravitate towards him, wanting to spend more time with him.

He liked Victor, a lot.

_"I like you, B...I have for awhile. And I know this will probably put you in even more of a tough spot, so I'm sorry...but I needed to get it off my chest."_

Benji frowns, looking up at the ceiling. He feels the urge to pull out his phone and dial Victor's number, but he holds himself back.

He can't do that...he can't risk losing Derek forever.

He also can't deny that he has strong feelings for Victor...feelings that, no matter how hard he tried, wouldn't go away.

_"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry again, and that I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Because...you've become a really important part of my life, and...I don't want to lose you._

_Sincerely,_   
_~~Love~~ , Victor"_

Benji rests the letter on his chest, closing his eyes.

Honestly, he was never angry at Victor in the first place, and knows that how he'd been treating the younger boy was completely unfair.

He knows that he has to talk to Victor...to let him know that he does 'forgive' him. And he knows that the only opportunity he will have to do so is tonight at the dance.

Benji folds the letter up, putting it on his bedside table, and gets up to start getting ready for the Spring Fling.  
~  
Benji looks over at the entrance to the gymnasium, heart racing when he sees Victor standing there, already looking at him.

He frowns, immediately averting his gaze towards the dance floor. He feels Victor's gaze still lingering on him, disappearing a few seconds later.

When he looks back up, Victor is walking out of the gymnasium.

He clears his throat, turning to look at Derek, "Hey...I'll be right back." he informs him, getting up to follow after Victor.

Benji takes a deep breath, opening the door to the restroom and walking inside.

"Hey..."  
~


End file.
